The Fear of Being Magnificent: What Happens When We Stop Shrinking
Photo by cottonbro studio
It’s common knowledge that self-awareness is key to becoming a successful and well-adjusted human being. A huge part of that awareness involves uncovering blind spots and recognizing where we may have unintended impacts. That alone is tough work—looking in the mirror and acknowledging where we got it wrong.
But what about looking in the mirror and seeing where we got it right?
That, I’ve found, is the part people are most afraid of.
Self-deprecation comes easily to most of us. But owning our brilliance? Our beauty? That often feels foreign, uncomfortable, even unsafe. Many of my clients come to me with challenges around self-worth and confidence. Even when the surface-level issue is leadership or work-life balance, it’s often rooted in a quiet fear: What if I’m not enough?
But here’s the twist—many times, the fear underneath that fear is actually this: What if I truly am?
What if we’re afraid not of our inadequacy, but of our magnificence?
The world has conditioned us to shrink, to self-deprecate, to equate humility with invisibility. We’re taught to keep our heads down, play small, and never stand too far out from the crowd. But what if the most generous, world-changing act we can do is to stop hiding?
Yes, we need to own our blind spots. Absolutely. But we also need to own our greatness. Seeing ourselves with loving, honest eyes—acknowledging not only the messy but also the magnificent—is a courageous act. And it’s one the world desperately needs right now.
Marianne Williamson speaks to this truth with stunning clarity. I’ll leave you with her words below—and invite you to sit with them not just as a nice quote, but as a challenge:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?'
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
— Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love
So here’s your invitation: Instead of only digging into your shadows, start turning toward your light.
Ask yourself, What would it look like to honor my own brilliance today?
Because when you do, you’re not just liberating yourself—you’re permitting others to do the same.
I believe in you!
Fundamental of the Week #2: LISTEN GENEROUSLY
Give others your full attention, be present and engaged, and set aside your internal conversation as best you can. Let go of your need to agree, disagree, or judge. Be empathetic, and listen “for” the needs of others. Use your curiosity to get all the facts, separating facts from interpretations.
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